you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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