i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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