He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
