its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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