He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
