i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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