What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
