lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
