2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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