i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
