Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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