I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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