Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
