So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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