i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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