Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I wear drunk well.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
