Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
