I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
