Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
