so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
