wanna go halves on a baby?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I want is dick and wine.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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