Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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