God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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