Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Couch. On fire.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
