well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
