Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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