how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
