whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
