My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
