I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
