So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
