I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my sisters under your porch take her home
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
