I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
