I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just blew my weed a kiss
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
