she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
