i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
