did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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