your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
