found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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