Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
