Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
