Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
