24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
