How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
