Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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