Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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