She's JV to your varsity
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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