Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
