how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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