chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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