I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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