turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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