hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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