Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
